It’s 11:47 p.m. and I’m just remembering that I have a blog post to make! I’m really looking forward to taking a breather five days from now! Tomorrow I’ll try to post something or another in the wee hours before we head to Tupelo for our annual Turkey Day gluttony. Then the next post will be made late Friday evening as well. I’m squeaking by on this project, but Saturday I already got my knuckles rapped for my lack of novel manuscript.
I’ve got a pie in the oven, and am more than a little irritated at my ability to stretch deadlines to their ultimate load. I also have a bed full of clothing. I’m not quite sure where the procrastination set in, but I remember doing projects that were supposed to take weeks of work well into the wee hours of the morning ever since I was in 6th grade and had to write a project on Bolivia. It’s been a struggle for me my whole life. I sometimes wonder if I do it sometimes to add a challenge to otherwise uninspiring projects. Who knows? I certainly need to work on it, still, even at the old age of 33 and 11/12s.
And my husband just looked over at me and snickered before he cheered, “Go, Pea, Go!” Oh, that might be confusing. I’m allegedly the sweet variety of pea, to clarify.
Not super talky tonight in general. I’ve been a bit blue today, because it’s not really all that weird to hate goodbyes. My visitors are off to their Thanksgiving vacation, and I’ve already been missing them something fierce.
To top off the blue feeling, I just watched a video for survivors of suicide. My brother is conspicuously absent too, and with the upcoming holiday and game I feel it keenly. There was a little mnemonic presented to anyone wanting to help anyone else who was grieving or dealing with a loss that I thought was particularly insightful. The three Hs were to Hug, Hush, and Hang out. That sounds just about right to me.
Of course, being showered with kisses by a kindergartener helps too. So does watching a second grader be goofy with his new foam bullet gun, and arguing about which Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtle everyone in the family represents. I highly recommend borrowing a couple of grimy little boys the next time you’re feeling sad.
After swearing for 15 years I would never ever do it, I played Axis and Allies today. The Spousal Unit to Be set up on the extra bed in my dorm room bed once, and after about an hour of trying to parse the rules I got exasperated, sat down on the bed beside it, destroyed Asia and half of Europe, and declared victory. I wasn’t going to play that game ever ever ever. I also never have succombed to Risk or almost any other war games of the board sort. Chess and checkers notwithstanding, of course.
Anyway, my friends are over, and peer pressure does work on me on rare occasions, depending on the peers. And, darnit, of course I had a little bit of fun at it, too, after my brain stopped hurting from so many rules all at once. Sooo many rules! We stopped after about 6 hours of gameplay or so, because my attention span had enough, but maybe it wouldn’t be incredibly awful later now that I know the rules. Or… maaaaaybe I’d deign to play Risk. If Jared didn’t bring any blue decks over. I’m not promising anything though.
It’s too much stress to even try lying to myself about the novel. Not real confident about the bloggy posty either, but hey, I haven’t blown that completely yet. Even if all that’s getting posted right now is random thoughts, I think that I’ve read enough other NaBloPoMo posts that are of the same level that I can forgive myself for that.
Friends will be here in an hour, and I’m excited but I’m also wound up tight. I’ll try and chill for a few days and just quit with the fidgetfidget nervousness, which will probably all smooth out once they’re here.
Oh, that reminds me that over Turkey Day, I’m supposed to cheer up my Granny who got something prescribed “for her nerves”. Since I’m the level headed and grounded one. It’s funny ’cause, sadly, it’s true. Laughter is good for the soul, right?
So, this every day posting stuff is getting hard now. I knew it would, starting about now. Holidays really are official now. I have friends coming in town tomorrow. As a matter of fact, once you count all the different invitations I’ve wanted to accept or people who were just going to come by tomorrow, I’ve been officially quintuple booked for the weekend. We’ve whittled it down a bit, but it’s still going to be a whirlwind of activity over the next few days.
All of this, on no money and no immediate prospects for more! And Christmas is next month! HOORAY! Money is my bane. It stresses me out so much when it’s tight that I can barely function. I have this overwhelming need to have it coming in, in amounts far larger than I’ve seen in quite some time. And Chris isn’t nearly so avaricious as I am. So, I’m afraid I’m going to become a monomaniac until the short term crisis is resolved. I’ll do my best not to be an utter jerk to my family and friends in the meantime, though. Just forgive me and understand that one of my biggest triggers has been pushed.
And that’s all I have time to post today. In the 7 minutes I allotted myself, I prattled about being stressed about money. That pretty much says it all. This has to get fixed, post haste. Else how will I justify my spiffy shooting star boots when I’m picking up a welfare check?
should come up soon, right? Or else, this will just be free writing for about ten minutes, til I get sick of typing. This is the kind of junk I used to do back when I tried to do The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. She had a lot of good ideas in that book, and it did me a lot of good, but then the chapter on money just pissed me off and I quit. This happened on two separate occasions, as a matter of fact.
The idea is that upon rising up, you write for a few minutes, which generally amounts to just a page or two, and just purge your mind. I did this faithfully for quite some time, even after I dropped the whole project. There were times that it did me immense good to just think things out. I also found myself dwelling on negativity and picking apart my motivations and the things that irritated me to pieces. I found myself thinking about writing them ahead of time, too, and that’s really what did me in. That was counter to the project, planning things in advance. It was supposed to be extemporaneous.
For the most part, my NaBloPoMo has been relatively off the cuff. I’ve not given myself much time to write, and I think that the blog feels much more natural to me as a result. I’m glad I did the project, even if I’m only a little over halfway there and just free writing tonight. I feel more like the blog is an extension of my thoughts, and less a project that has to have these grand goals and meaning. It’s comfortable now.
It starts tonight! If you can watch it, do so! We had been planning on driving up to the north a little bit, perhaps into the mountains, to see what we could see. I even marked my calendar for this event, too. Of course, there’s a gigantic cloud cover blanketing all of Alabama for all of tonight. Even though the chance of rain is only 30%, that cloud cover is predicted to hang around roughly til time for the sun to come up.
The kids have school tomorrow, but who cares? One of my first memories was being woken up in the wee hours of the morning to watch a lunar eclipse. Other important events my mom didn’t want me to miss, despite my inconvenient sleep schedule include the signing of the Camp David Accords and the wedding of Charles and Di, but those things really didn’t mean anything to me. They just annoyed me because they interfered with my sleep.
If you’re outside of the Alabama cloud cover, you might want to take advantage of this opportunity. The most active time is predicted to be around 5:30 CST, so hopefully some people actually will get to see it. We’re travelling through enough space debris that the predictions are for 30 meteors an hour in North America. Asia should get an even better show. Let me know if you see anything! I hate that we’ll miss it, but there’s still a chance that there will be some more activity tomorrow.
I’m not promising anything though.
