I was wondering where it had all gone [...]]]> This morning I was in a real funk. I was mulling over the misaligned values I often aware I have, and was feeling real guilt about it. Shadowhelm had linked a clip of Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson talking to Bill Maher about “mortgaging our future”:

I was wondering where it had all gone wrong, and starting to indulge in a foul, awful, pessimistic mood. And because frankly, I knew part of it was a bit of caffeine withdrawal, I pulled into Seattle Drip to get an iced Americano, cream but no sweetener (happy side note: I’m doing really well on cutting out the sugar!), and sat there stewing in my mood.

While I’m sitting there cussing myself for spending money on coffee you could have made yourself, even if it is only $1.91, that’s how many minutes of work time, is it worth that, T, is it? But you gotta have your fix, don’t ya junkie? Oh, shut up, it’s not that bad, not like your brother. Oh, I had forgotten that part of the equation, I gotta make sure the kids don’t get into drugs and understand the importance of a clear mind…

See? The mood was really spiraling out of control, and I was latching onto every little negative thought I could. This is a bad cycle that I allow myself to get trapped in sometimes, but then the enthusiastic drive thru barista dude snapped me out of my thoughts–

“Hey, look!”

“Huh?”

“Look at this, it’s so cool.” He indicated the pattern of swirly that the cream makes in the coffee. “Isn’t that beautiful?”

I laughed; he laughed. He shrugged, “Sorry, I just had to share it.”

Then he walked away to finish the drink up and swipe my card. When he came back, he continued, “It’s just so much fun, and the people out in the cars, they don’t see the neat things that happen in here. So I try to let them see sometimes.”

I nodded. “I imagine it gets boring in that little space all day, and you have to find your fun how you can.”

“You know, it’s funny, you can do some really awesome things with foam. I’m getting quite talented with it. But since this is a drive-thru, no one gets to see it, because I have to put a lid on it. You looked like you’d appreciate it.”

Funk bubble burst, just like that. A kid like that loving his job, and putting his all into it, and finding joy and beauty, and sharing it with me. How can I hold on to that negativity?  Yes, those higher, more weighty topics, they have their place.  But so does beauty and laughter and joy.   Even if the foam is frivolous, it serves a purpose.