NaNoWriMo and lack of progress
Yes, it’s time for that blog post that everyone in NaNoWriMo makes, but here goes. Maybe I bit off more than I can chew. I think I’d roughly be meeting my quota if I’d quit throwing my beginnings away. I’m giving it to the end of this week to get going, and if it doesn’t, then I’m going to return next year. Last week I was sick, and the next two weeks are chock full of holidays and company. If I can’t really get to rocking by the end of this week, I think I’ll just be freaking myself out.
The whole point of this is to put excessive amounts of pressure on myself to set a goal, and finish it. I know that some writers have published works from this project. Water for Elephants was a fun quick read, and ended up being a best-seller. I didn’t intend to publish anything. I just wanted to kick my butt into high gear and get cracking with the creativity.
I’ve not thrown in the towel completely yet. The bad start has me wavering at this point, and I’m not figuring out how to get very far in just yet. If I want to write the novel I want to read, I need to be in a much happier mind frame. If I want to write the novel I want to write, Steinbeck would be proud at the bleakness and negativity. And I really don’t always want to be bleak, it’s just what comes out. I’m having a hard time striking a balance, and a mood that will carry from one day to the next. Now, if a whole novel of just sex counts, then I’m pretty sure I can write way more than my allotted 2000 words. That always cheers me up considerably, and accounts for a lot of the trashed prose. But, I did intend to have a loose plot in there somewhere, so that’s not really going to satisfy me.
I’m glad I haven’t faltered on writing here, yet. I always sit down, not sure what I’m going to write. Something is constantly coming out, even if I’m not wild about the blog post. I think maybe this part of the project is more useful than the frustration of dealing with a novel. Just reading my daily post and seeing how my emotions are swinging like a pendulum is proving to be a useful gauge. I can step back and see exactly how uneven I am. It helps me to be kind to myself, and more realistic. While I absolutely believe I will achieve the things I truly want, and set out to accomplish, I’m trying to remember that I don’t have to try to do everything at once.