Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Con­tin­u­ing on with what I’ve learned from The 7 Habits of Highly Effec­tive Peo­ple, we reach the Habit I’m per­son­ally strug­gling with the most right now. If Stephen Covey is right that each of these habits builds on the last one, then I’ve got a long way to go, because #2 and #3 (Put first things first) are really where I know I get stuck.  Of course, since this is my great­est lack, this is also where the book was the most use­ful for me.

Inde­ci­sion is prob­a­bly my biggest weak­ness. I didn’t need a book to tell me that part.  I try to make it a strength, by using the time that I hes­i­tate to explore all pos­si­ble options, elim­i­nate pit­falls, and psych­ing myself up.  Once I’ve made a deci­sion, I tend to apply my entire being towards achiev­ing my goals.  Hav­ing a goal is a lot eas­ier to plan than flit­ting about aim­lessly.  But how do I decide what “end” I want?  There are many sug­ges­tions in this chap­ter to help find this ulti­mate goal in life, from imag­in­ing my own funeral to writ­ing out a per­sonal mis­sion statement. The crux of the mat­ter is that to truly be effec­tive at any­thing, the first step is to dis­cern what is truly impor­tant.  What is my life sup­posed to be about, and is my life really reflec­tive of those values?

I haven’t offi­cially writ­ten a per­sonal mis­sion state­ment, but I have spent a great deal of time jour­nal­ing in the past few years, explor­ing “what I want to do with my life.”   Inde­ci­sion has always plagued me, partly because that ques­tion seems to only relate to a career path.  While that is one of the large defin­ing aspects of most people’s lives, being a stay at home Mom for so many years has clouded the issue with emo­tion.  Covey’s way of look­ing at the issue helps tremen­dously.  Though I know it intel­lec­tu­ally, this sat­is­fies my emo­tional response that bucks against it sim­ply being about a career.  In fact, a broader def­i­n­i­tion will aid me in reach­ing the goals I want to achieve.  By actu­ally think­ing it through and decid­ing what prin­ci­ples I believe in and can exem­plify, I’m no longer doomed to drift along, inde­ci­sive, try­ing to pick the best path moment to moment based on what’s likely to be around the next bend.  I can pick my course more con­sciously with a long term end in mind.  Every day I can work towards the inte­grated whole, rather than try­ing to con­vince myself to pur­sue dis­jointed goals that don’t truly res­onate with my entire vision, but just seem to be what I ought to do next.

I also don’t have to pick one path or the other if my goals are seem­ingly diver­gent, but really are flow­ing towards the same end.I can cre­ate new solu­tions that fit this new end, rather than set­tle for sim­ply “Mom” or a given career path.  Obvi­ously, I want to leave a legacy for my chil­dren, but also for the world. I want to have an indomitable spirit that per­se­veres through every­thing.   I want to be coura­geous, and inspire courage in oth­ers.  I want to be kind, and strong, and lov­ing.  I want to touch the sky, and teach oth­ers they can, too.  By begin­ning with a proper end in mind, one that really speaks to me, I can effec­tively put my life into order prop­erly to achieve that goal.