On Parenting and Blogging
School’s out for summer! Who knows what this will mean for my schedule? I plan many things, but often they are undermined by tricky life. I may be more erratic than usual over the next few months, or I may find that not having to interrupt the flow of my day to meet an 8-3 schedule means that I get more time to write. We’ll see.
Often issues come up that I consider discussing pertaining to my family, parenting, school systems, or religion. Even though I want to hear other points of view, I am leery of exposing my children in any but the most broad terms. Recently, a local deleted most of her longstanding blog because online persona was directly affecting her children’s lives. I didn’t read the offending post, but apparently she vented her spleen about something, expecting the anonymity of the ‘net to protect her children, and moved on. Apparently some very loving and Christ-like Christians (ahem) somehow took it out on her children.
This was one of my worst apprehensions about starting up a blog. Oftentimes I don’t feel I can be really open about certain issues, so I avoid them. When I want to talk about parenting, or being an at-home Mom trying to work out the particulars of going back to school and work while keeping her place in the family as the coordinator and manager, I always decide against talking on those things. If I want to talk about my struggles with being surrounded by a fundamentalist Christian family that I feel is overwhelmingly intolerant at times, I cringe. Certain topics are just taboo in my mind. I don’t want to inflict any pain on my children because some close-minded people of any stripe decided to use me against my children. I know that game, because I was introduced to it as a child.
I know I could deal with my family finding the site, but it’s the strangers who would judge me with only this blog to go on, and punish my children as a result. I know that it’s very easy to “out” someone on the internet, and I’ve been fairly open about my real life identity. My Facebook and Twitter accounts, which both have real pictures of me, are linked to this website. At times I wonder if I should cut all those little strings leading up to me, but I know that there will still be a trail, somewhere.
Seeing SJ’s blog go down for the sake of her children gives me pause. While I understand completely why she packed away her writings for a later time, I do think it’s a shame. More diversity, especially in such a homogenous community, incites conversation and understanding. So, if I’m disappointed that SJ closed her blog down, I feel like I should not be a hypocrite and feel free to talk more openly about parenting and religion. On the other hand, is it possible to be open and honest without it biting me?
While I will admit that my writings and opinions do tend to fall on the ‘subversive’ side of any coin people around here will toss, I’m still anonymous, use no names, and openly admit to sweepingly stereotyping people of the religious ilk (after all, they do the same to me). I took down all of my posts so as not to give more fuel to the “loving and Christ-like Christians” as you call them. Whoever outed me while listening to the hypocristy of ‘Christ-like’ gossip should be ashamed of themselves.
Because no matter if you knew who I was through the grapevine or if I told you myself while looking at you from across a table, anonymous means just that. It is chosen for a reason. I only ventured out into speaking a bit of my true mind on my anonymous blog after FIVE YEARS, so I understand your dilemma. As my dear, dear Republican voting, church going friend said to me during all of this, “This is the United States of America. You can say whatever you want, wherever and whenever you want.” That made me smile very broadly.
Just know that you can never be a hypocrite if you have true beliefs and thus, speak your mind. And also know that it may always, very likely, come back to bite you. You just have to weigh your conscience on that issue. My goodness, I know how tough that is.
Thanks for coming by, SJ. Wow. Five years, and you finally started opening up, for this to happen. That sucks so hard.
I’m going to do my best to walk the tightrope, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to tend to fall on the overprotective side when it comes to my kids. No matter how much I need to learn to open up and be myself, if it comes at their expense, I know this will all be counterproductive.
I keep mine anonymous because of work, really. A lot of my friends know about it, so likewise it wouldn’t be too hard to determine who I am if you were so inclined. I do hate that SJ had to delete her old entries, I used to love reading her blog.